New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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