I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
