It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
