In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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