at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
