Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
so let's talk penis.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
