So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
