I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
