I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
