Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
