The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
