When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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