She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
