Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
