I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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