Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
