my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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