THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
