How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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