I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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