Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Floor bacon is actually really good
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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