I just made out with a guy for $7.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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