I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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