I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
