things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
i've created a new STD.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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