you will always have a special place in my vag
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
