Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I just found a bag of teeth...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
