i jhust puked up my retainher.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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