i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
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