so explain again why im purple
no
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
