He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize