After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
