walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
