Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
