You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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