So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
