ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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