She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
