new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
We had to coat check the pizza.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
