Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
