so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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