you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
