Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
