Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
