So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I will pee on everything he values.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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