So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
