awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
