We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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