Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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