I need help removing her.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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