i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
