Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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